Is it possible to have a love/hate relationship with the sport of triathlon?  I love the challenge and beauty of it.  I also love the physical conditioning required and how good I feel.  I’m having a tougher time with the mental aspects of it.  This is a first for me.  I’ve achieved a lot in my life and usually meet/exceed my goals.  This one is throwing me for a loop. 

Sunday, April 29 was my first open water swim [ows] the training season. For those that don’t know, you basicly go to an open body of water and swim.  The water may be cold or warm, there is no wall to hold onto or push off of, and there isn’t a black line running along the bottom for guidance.  Also, there may be murky water, limited visibility, fish, debris, rocks, and other sorts of stuff that you don’t have to worry about in a pool. 

So, coming off my practice last Wednesday, I was fairly confident that today’s swim would go ok.  That wasn't the case. I woke up physically tired.  I actually thought of not going but then decided to push myself and ‘just show up’.  That’s usually half the battle.  "If I show up, I’ll get excited being around my friends and coaches, which would result in motivation and I’ll complete the yardage with no problems. I would be a domino effect."  Yeah, right!  Tired, cranky, limited mental ability Theresa showed up.  The water was cold and shortly after rounding the 1st pole, I looked way off into the distance, saw the 3^rd pole and decided it was too far away.  That did it, there went the little mental strength I had and I gave up.  Now that I’m writing this, I realize the importance of that mental decision. At that point, I didn’t care, I wanted out. 

I completed maybe 150 yards, changed direction—swam to the shore and announced I was done. No words of encouragement would change my mind. I actually, thought wow—is this considered giving up or does it count since it’s practice.  You know you can’t do this during the race.  Yeah, I know but I’m doing it today. I have a lot of solo conversations when training.

Two days later, I realized the important role mental strength will play in this event.  I will have to dig deep, say prayers, talk to myself, whatever it takes to finish. I know this, having told myself on a daily basis.  I have to say this is one of the toughest things I've ever had to do.  One of my coworkers has this on his email signature:  

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.  

This is my great opportunity.  I'll keep moving forward…

Major breakthrough at swim practice

Last night's practice involved all participants swimming their race distances. For me, that meant 500 meters, continuous and timed.  I’d downloaded a copy of Conquer your fear of water and spent a few hours reading it.  A few things stood out to me including:

1. the importance of remaining in control to prevent panic
2. staying present to the situation and aware of my feelings
3. follow any instructions that are revealed to me
4. have fun
5. don’t do anything I didn’t want to do.

I decided to do this all day and at practice.

I have to say it worked for me.  By staying present, I had no opportunity to build anxiety about practice.  Last week, Coach Mike, told me I’d swim 500 meters and be timed, but I had no idea how this would occur.  This was probably the first time during the pre-meeting I didn’t have anxiety about the pending workout.  Stay present.  After the meeting, we head over to the pool and our designated lanes.  Those swimming 500 meters would start in lane 7, then swim back in lane 8, exit the pool and get into lane 1. We’d then swim up/down lanes 1-8 to complete the distance. 

I swam a 200m warm-up then headed to lane 7.  Coach Beth gave us the pre-swim spiel, confirming how much fun this would be [yeah right].  She blew the whistle and off we went. I decided, to let everyone start and then jump in.  I swam freestyle maybe 30 meters and felt myself began to panic. Then decided to switch to side stroke for a bit.  Eventually, sidestroke became backstroke.  I know, backstroke of all things. I just happened to have watched a few videos of it and it’s supposed to be good for imprinting freestyle body position.  So backstroke it was. To my surprise, it felt GREAT!  I’d forgotten how relaxed I am on my back.  I could count, sing, and remind myself ‘I’m in Control’ while singing a la Janet Jackson.  That would become a new mantra.  It wasn’t the fastest backstroke but it allowed me to swim the 500m distance in 25minutes and 4 seconds.  Who Knew!!

The more important things were:

1. I stayed present and listened to that voice whispering, “try the backstroke”;
2. I completed the race distance—that was huge for me
3. I did it in less than my target time <30 minutes
4. I wasn’t exhausted afterward, since I stayed calm
5. I didn’t worry about other swimmers that are faster than me. 

So I’ve decided to continue practicing and improving in the coming weeks.  Who knows, I might be able to get my time under 20 minutes. I’ll continue to stay present and not worry about anyone else’s race but my own.  Oh, and I’ll have fun while doing it!!

Remember to keep moving forward...